


Decisions, Decisions

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MSPaint Adventures
Genre: Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-24
Updated: 2011-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why pick one when you can have both?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decisions, Decisions

It's too much, Rose decides. Just too much to bear.

It was one thing when she was watching some shitty movie with John, because that at least started out with a bunch of other people crowded around the TV and who cares if some of them got bored and wandered off, it was still a group thing, even when it ended up as just the two of them and it was getting late and she was laying her head on his shoulder and he had his arm around hers, and the credits started to roll and she turned to him to say something but forgot because _god his eyes are blue_. And then she had to get up get _out_ before she did something monumentally stupid _like kiss him_ no no no bad thought worst idea. So she smiled and shook out her skirt as she stood and thanked him for the evening and swept out of the room before he could open his mouth ask her to stay _come on one more movie what could it hurt_ everything, that's what, one more second could ruin fucking everything, so just shut _up._

And it was another, completely unrelated thing when she was discussing fashion with Kanaya, because that's what they both love and anyway clothes are a perfectly normal interest for teenage girls to share and bond over, except for when talking about clothes became let's-model-some-clothes-I-have-the-perfect-dress-for-you, and without too much warning she was in a sleek black number with buttons all up the back, facing the mirror with Kanaya's head just visible behind her own shoulder, bent in concentration as she fastened each button, and every skim of her fingertips over bare skin left Rose breathless, until it was done and Kanaya rested her hand on Rose's shoulders, her smile peeking out, and whispered "You look beautiful". That's the moment when Rose had to shrug the hands off without seeming like she was doing so, and go dig through her bag, because "I knit a wrap that would go with this, let me just see if I can find it" seemed like a better escape than "if you touch me one more time I will kiss you senseless" and anyway that seemed like not much of a threat at all and _dammit dammit dammit not helping._

That's the heart of the problem, really. Indecision, and an inability to commit to either option until a clear choice can be made. It would be an interesting case study in just about anyone but herself. And every moment she spends with either just compounds the issue, because they are both _so wonderful_ and _so perfect_ and she loves them both _so much_ that the idea of saying no, seeing blue or gold eyes fill with shining or emerald tears, is much too painful to consider.

Sitting on the couch alone with her book, she's just fine. Sitting on the couch and having John flop down on her right is moderately uncomfortable. Sitting on the couch with John on her right and Kanaya casually settling in on her left enters the realm of torture. Sitting on the couch, with John on the right oh-so-subtly stretching and draping an arm around her, and Kanaya tucking her feet under her skirt in a way that causes her to lean against Rose, is the proverbial straw.

She stands, forgotten book tumbling from her lap. Can't even make excuses, her only thought is _go go got to get out of here can't take it the two of them oh goood..._ She knows her face is as white as a sheet, knows her hands are shaking and her steps are stiff, but it's like watching another person flee the room and half-run down the hall and into her own bedroom, and she only feels like she's back inside her own skin when she shuts the door and collapses to her knees and pulls a pillow off the bed to hug to her chest and bury her face in and just _cry_ from the sheer mess she's making of it all.

~~~~~

Rose has cleaned herself up a bit, and she's continually knitting and ripping the same three rows of scarf over and over. Why did she abandon her book, stupid stupid dumb. It's harder to lose herself in yarn and needles, although not impossible. She's avoiding her own writing like the plague - it tends too far into introspection, and the last place she wants to be right now is inside her own head.

She's winding her yarn back into a ball when there's a quiet tap on the door. "Rose?"

The yarn drops from numb hands, tangling in her lap. _Dammit._ She shoves the mess under her pillow and breathes deep. "Who is it?"

"John. And Kanaya. Can we come in?"

 _NO. No no no no no_ "...yes..." _DAMMIT._ Rose settles herself in the exact center of her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, eyes wary as the sources of her frustration enter the room. They settle on either side of her, not too close. Small blessings.

Kanaya looks at John over Rose's head. "Do you want to start, or shall I?"

He clears his throat. Rose turns to face him, peeking over her folded arms. "Well, Rose, me and Kanaya have been talking, because we noticed that you were... well..."

"Avoiding us."

"Both of us. And we were wondering why, until-"

"Until we realized what was going on."

"Right. And so we talked, and decided... damn, I can't do this part."

Kanaya sighs, but when Rose turns to her she's smiling. "Rose, you have been struggling with a decision that you never had to make."

There's a poignant silence. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. I-"

 _"Rose."_ She turns back to John, and his warm hands slip under her chin and her eyes flutter shut and he's kissing her, and his lips are soft and slightly chapped and he tastes sweet, so sweet, and he's warm and wonderful and _perfect._ He pulls away and drops his hands to let cooler, softer ones take their place, turning her head to be met with cool, soft, full lips and the tiniest prick of gentle fangs and Kanaya tastes spicy and exotic and indescribable and _perfect._

The cool hands drop away and Rose just sits there, eyes closed, savoring the moment that can't possibly be real. But when she finally gathers the courage to open her eyes they're still there, blue and gold eyes bright, cheeks flushed red and green, and all she can squeak out is,

"Oh."

And then,

 _"Oh."_

She takes a breath to steady herself, blinking hard a few times. "So, the two of you decided - what? That you can share?"

"Basically, yes." Kanaya wraps her arms around Rose's waist, leaning into her just hard enough that she, in turn, has to lean into John. He chuckles and wraps an arm around Rose's shoulders.

"We figured it was the best solution."

Wrapped up in her two loves, Rose can't help but laugh. "I can certainly live with this!"

**Author's Note:**

> Alt title: Sharing is Caring.
> 
> This is my solution to the Rose-related shipwar.


End file.
